Manners 101
It’s always lovely to encounter a child with good manners. Not so lovely to find one screaming at your feet when they want something. To teach your child good manners, will be providing them with a strong, foundation for their entire social lives. Here are a few tips that might help make Manners 101 a little easier for the teacher!
"Teaching your child manners gives them a way to put respect into action"
R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
Respect, for self and others, is at the heart of positive social behaviour. Teaching your child manners gives them a way to put respect into action. They will also need to have a strong
foundation of self-esteem.
"Your children mirror your behaviour they soak everything up like perceptive little sponges"
Model behaviour:
Your children mirror your behaviour. Especially between the ages of two-five, they soak everything up like perceptive little sponges. So, you’re going to have to make sure your own manners are up-to-scratch. Remember especially your ‘pleases and thank-yous.’ You and your partner are a team, and will have to make a conscious effort to always remember your manners towards one another, and your friends in the presence of your children.
Start with the easy stuff:
Start off with the basics: ‘please’, ‘thank you,’ and ‘excuse me’. Teach them not to talk with their mouth full, and to say ‘please pass the potatoes’ if they want something when at the dinner table.
Take it to the table:
An often lost tradition in our fast paced modern lives, is the family dinner round the table. This occasion is not only a quality family time, it is an opportunity for your child to practice their good manners. You will no doubt have the opportunity here to correct any negative behaviour, such as talking with their mouth full, or making a grunting noise and pointing when they want food. You can calmly reinforce that you will listen to them when they are finished chewing, and that you will be more than happy to pass them whatever food they like if they ask for it politely. Don’t overdo it though! Remember to point out the good. If dinner time becomes lecture time, you’ll have even more trouble getting them to the table!
Positive feedback:
When your child displays good manners, reinforce this behaviour with praise. A sticker chart to reward good behaviour is another good idea. Acknowledge their contribution when they help with chores or hold a door open for you. Comment on the specific behavior that you want to reinforce. For example say, “how thoughtful of you to help me put the groceries away, you’re a big help to mum. Thank you so much.” Also remember how much a child loves to hear the words “I’m proud of you”.
Make it fun:
Fun is a magic ingredient when dealing with kids! Try creating a sticker chart. Give your child a sticker each time s/he displays good manners and of course, reward them when they accumulate say 10.
Patience and Persist!
Remember they are not actually tiny adults, they are kids! It might take them a while to get it, and every child will respond differently. We all know how tempting it is to just give a screaming child what they want, anything to stop it! But you’ll be making more work for yourself in the long run; you need to stick to your guns. If your child is screaming for juice, explain that you will be happy to give it to them when they ask politely using the magic word ‘please’. Only oblige when they do this.
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